I wasn’t in the market for a new computer. After buying my last Macintosh, which included a defective IBM hard drive, a defective Pioneer DVD drive, and certified Apple “technical support experts” who needed two weeks to figure out how to replace the defective hard drive, I was in no hurry to do more business with Apple Computer.
My four-year-old G4 was limping along about as well as ever: not very well, but bearably. Boeing manufactures jet aircraft that make less noise than that computer’s fans. The loudly touted OS X operating system is sluggish, unstable, unreliable, and about half as visually appalling as a comic book, but I’d more or less accustomed myself to it. In a bad year, Photoshop would crash once a year under OS 8 from the 1990s. Under OS X, it crashed three or four times a week, and most crashes necessitated restarting the computer.
Enter my local electric company with another of its 30-second power failures, which occur several times a month. I didn’t know uninterruptible power supplies have fairly short life expectancies. I was able to reformat and restore everything on my big, fast Seagate main hard drive; unfortunately, the drive wasn’t still stable. I called Seagate. The fellow I spoke with was sympathetic and glad to tell me which new drive to order, but couldn’t sell me one: could only refer me to a dealer. He mentioned in passing Apple had lately switched to Intel processors, so I wouldn’t be able to continue using OS 9. That’s the jury-rigged version of OS 8 that runs as something like an application under OS X, and lets me run older, pre-OS X programs.
I’ve paid for newer versions of Photoshop and Illustrator, of course, but they don’t let me use my hundreds upon hundreds of dollars’ worth of third party filters, some of which are essential to the way I paint, none of which has been rewritten to work under OS X. I still use Photoshop 5.5 for at least 99% of image editing tasks, Illustrator 7 for all shape-based drawing tasks.
I made some telephone calls. Apple had, indeed, switched to Intel processors, and OS 9 was, indeed, already an artifact of history. I gritted my teeth and bought a refurbished G5 dual processor computer directly from Apple, the only company that still had Macintoshes with Motorola processors for sale. The sales individual mentioned no modem had been included on the mother board, but not to worry: for a mere $50, he could sell me a USB modem.
The modem didn’t work.
After a mere hour’s wait on hold, I was able to speak to an Apple “technical support expert,” who couldn’t do anything for me, since I was calling from work instead of sitting in front of my useless new computer. I bought another modem.
The second modem didn’t work, either.
I took an afternoon off work, spent considerably more time on hold, and—no fewer than three certified “technical support experts” later—was informed the version of OS X supplied with my new computer didn’t support the USB modem. The Apple “technical support expert” promised to send me the needed new version of the operating system by overnight delivery.
A week later, I received the same old version of OS X. I couldn’t simply look at the DVDs and see that, but had to reformat the hard drive and waste an hour and a half re-installing the operating system before discovering Apple had sent me the useless old version rather than the promised new version.
After spending more—and more and more and more—time on hold, I received yet another promise from yet another “technical support expert” that she really would send me the latest and greatest version of the operating system. She at least managed to ship it overnight rather than by truck, but of course, it was the same old version all over again: the computer worked, but the modem didn’t.
Eventually, I bought the newest version of OS X from my local Apple dealer. I have no doubt Apple trusted if it stalled long enough, the customer would give up in despair of getting what he’d ’d paid for and buy another Apple product. The modem not only works, but connects at a slightly faster rate than the old computer’s modem. The fans are quieter. The “find” function no longer finds files. Burning DVDs now takes twice as long. OS 9 still works, although I inexplicably can’t start the computer from it. OS X is more sluggish and childish-looking than ever.
I bought my first Macintosh in 1985, less than a year after it was introduced. I’ve probably bought or specified 250 or 300 Macintoshes over the years, as well as printers, scanners, keyboards, mice, and assorted other peripheral devices, most for clients rather than myself, of course. This newest computer is at least the twelfth Macintosh I’ve bought for myself.
It’s the last poorly designed, badly “supported” Apple product I’ll ever buy!
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